“I’M HiDEOUS”
We are battling a group of orc warriors defending a temple. We have taken heavy damage and our Druid was being targeted for threatening the orcs.
DM: Druid, you see one orc, the one who’s mother you claimed to bed, is coming at you. And with one mighty swing of its giant club (nat 20) ouch- hits you in the face. Dislocating your jaw, and leaving you with only one hit point left.
Druid OOC: Okay kiddy gloves are coming off! I cast cure wounds to set my jaw back in place then cast erupt earth on these fucks.
(All the remaining orcs rolled low)
DM; Damn, in a sudden rush of fury you all see Druid grab the sides of his face and snap his jaw back into place. Then, with a blood curdling scream, cause the ground to erupt beneath the orcs. Spires of stone shoot out of the earth, impaling the orcs one by one limb by limb. The battle ends with probably the most gruesome display of nature’s fury any of you have ever seen.
Druid OOC: I turn to the group, still covered in blood and bruises, and smile.
Barbarian OOC: I cream my pants automatically, and begin to question why.
DM: And, for the first time ever, our womanizing Barbarian questions his sexuality.
Rogue: Omg I ship it already!
